…kept me awake all god-damned night. From 22:37 to 04:16 (yes, I looked at the god-damned clock), that hell-bound mutt was trying to raise the dead headed for a size-13 smackdown determined to acquire an acute case of lead poisioning carrying on. At one point, I was considering calling the cops. At another, I was considering getting out the 12-gauge and making a little racket of my own.

Look, I realize that we live in the country. In Wistucky. In an unzoned county. But still, there’s such a thing as common courtesy. There’s also such a thing as dog jerky. Now in new “obnoxious” flavor!